Go and No Go, or, Dan's Scowl at Ty's Serving Men.

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[Argument. Old Ty, being lame, imbecile and wholly unable to go alone, calls his serving men to bring him an ashen staff, to help him along. Finding it too straight and unbending for his purpose, he throws it aside, and being in ill humor with everything, dismisses his servants. He then calls another set of serving men to bring his old hickory staff, which being crooked, he thinks better suited to the crooks of his limbs. He has hardly taken a step, when it snaps and lets him down, exposing him to the jeers of the spectators. His hickory staff-bearers, meanwhile, seeing his plight, begin to finger his pockets. Old Dan, a trusty and faithful man, who stands by only long enough to close an important contract for old Ty, has been all the while intently watching the movements of the parties in the attempt to enable the lame man to walk, and no sooner sees him throw away the ash-pole than he seizes it, runs up a flag to the top, and holding it out erect, scowls, like a thunder cloud, upon the spoilers — at which the hickory staff-bearers take to their heels, old Ty limping off with the broken supporter in his hand.

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Dramatic Personae. Wise, Ty's vanguard. Cabe, [Caleb] another of the guard, who doesn't stop running till he reaches China. Proffe, [Proffit] the rear-guard who runs to South America and back. Wick, P. M. G. David the Henshaw Fowl, Ex-Secretary of the Navy, and k-navy ex-manager of the Commonwealth Bank. Spence, [Spencer] the evil genius of the administration. Ike, [Isaac Hill] the blank-wrapping-paper-and-twine contractor for all the old tories and all the new territories, etc. Porte, [Porter] Ex-Secretary of War. Seth, the hissing gentleman, one of David's pets and appointees. Bobby the Ranting Owl, a well known custom-house rat and legislative Ranter, also a pet of David. The last two are merely thrown in as makeweights. Their names have that peculiar hissing and bobbing sound, if one may so say, which make them slide remarkably easy into verse.]

TUNE — "Dame Durden."
(By the author of Van's Mews.)

Old Ty he called five serving men
To bring him an ashen pole,
And five to fetch a hickory staff —
And then he hugged the whole.
'Twas Wise and Cabe and Proffe and Wick, and David the Henshaw Fowl,
And Spence and Ike and Porte and Seth, and Bobby the Ranting Owl,
'Twas Wise hugged Spence,
And Cabe hugged Ike,
And Proffe hugged Porte,
And Wick hugged Seth,
And David the Henshaw Fowl,
And Bobby the Ranting Owl,
And Dan he was a charming man to watch them with his scowl.

Old Ty he tried the ashen pole,
Too straight it was by half;

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And, dropping it, he tried to go
With his crooked hick'ry staff.
'Twas Wise and Cabe and Proffe and Wick, and David the Henshaw Fowl,
And Spence and Ike and Porte and Seth, and Bobby the Ranting Owl,
'Twas Wise called Spence,
And Cabe called Ike,
And Proffe called Porte,
And Wick called Seth,
And David the Henshaw Fowl,
And Bobby the Ranting Owl,
And Dan he was a charming man to watch them with his scowl.

Old Ty he looked all askance,
And he hugged them with a frown,
For when he moved, his crooked staff
It snapped and let him down.
'Twas Wise and Cabe and Proffe and Wick, and David the Henshaw Fowl,
And Spence and Ike and Porte and Seth, and Bobby the Ranting Owl,
'Twas Wise cursed Spence,
And Cabe cursed Ike,
And Proffe cursed Porte,
And Wick cursed Seth,
And David the Henshaw Fowl,
And Bobby the Ranting Owl,
And Dan he was a charming man to watch them with his scowl.

Old Ty he cried, "What shall I do?
Too straight is the ash for me,
And hick'ry too, when cracked it is,
Aint what it is cracked to be."
'Twas Wise and Cabe and Proffe and Wick, and David the Henshaw Fowl,
And Spence and Ike and Porte and Seth, and Bobby the Ranting Owl,

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'Twas Wise twigged Spence,
And Cabe twigged Ike,
And Proffe twigged Porte,
And Wick twigged Seth,
And David the Henshaw Fowl,
And Bobby the Ranting Owl,
And Dan he was a charming man to watch them with his scowl.

And Dan he seized the ashen pole,
And a flag up it run high;
Ty limp'd and fell — his serving men
"Cut stick" as they would die.
'Twas Wise and Cabe and Proffe and Wick, and David the Henshaw Fowl,
And Spence and Ike and Porte and Seth, and Bobby the Ranting Owl,
'Twas Wise chased Spence,
And Cabe chased Ike,
And Proffe chased Porte,
And Wick chased Seth,
And David the Henshaw Fowl,
And Bobby the Ranting Owl,
And Dan he was a charming man to watch them with his scowl.
Oh, Dan he was a charming man to raise the ashen pole.