Dialogue — Ethiopian Court Scene.


Justice. Well, Julius, wat you kno bout dis ere kase; we want you splain all de ticlars; tell de trufe, de hole trufe, and nothing but de trufe.

Solomon Julius. Massa Justice, you noes Joe Tucker, son ob ole Tucker, de man wat shoes hosses.

Justice. Wat, ole Dan Tucker.

Julius. Nothing shorter — dat am de man, sure as smoke; how you knowed him?

Justice. Lemme see; dare am some calcumlation bout all dis. I tink I has a dim recollection ob him. If I libs ten years from de arter past ob last monte, I have knowed him nine years free months and thirty-one days.

Julius. Massa Justice, I spose you knowed dat are dog of Joe's, a slick, telligent and pretty animal, allays at Joe's heels.

Justice. Wat! Dat are yaller dog! De Lord knows I does, jes like a brick. Well, succeed on, succeed.

Julius. Massa Justice, dat are dog am a goner — he am a used-up dog.


Justice. You don't say so; how yon know, Julius?

Julius. How I know, Massa Justice? De todder day Joe and dat are dog was passing down do abbenew, whan a grate big vocifferus animal bounced on Joe's dog, knocked him heels ober head, and so skeered Mr. Snow's wife, who was passing wid her husband's dinner, dat she tumbled backwards, spilt all de dinner, her ole sun-bonnet come off, skeered a hoss and waggon loaded wid wood, he started, run afoul ob a barber's pole, upset de load ob wood in Saul Gumbo's clam seller, struck one ob Gumbo's children on de head, discumlocating it, and so skeercd Mrs. Gumbo, she let drap a pan ob red-hot sassengers into Ceazer Spoon's lap, spilen all de dry goods, and scalden Ceazer unmercifully. Mrs. Gumbo rushed for de child, Ceazer rushed for do dore, and de rush was oreful. Mrs. Gumbo screamed, de child screeched, Ceazer yelled, and if dare warn't an cxcrutiating time, den dere is no use ob saying anyting. De hoss, a part ob de waggon, and some ob de wood, went up de abbenew as if de lectrum telumgraph was arter dem, and whar dey gone, de Lord only noes. De owner ob de vociferus biped come out, and see Joe ready to demolish de animal, gave him a pop on do back ob de head, so dat poor Joe went wizzing up de street bout forty yards, hitting a ladder upon which Jim Elderberry stood, wid a paint pot, some thirty feet from terra ferma; down cum de ladder, Jim, paint pot, and all, sprawlin' to de ground, cripplin' poor Jim for life, spillin' de blue paint on broad-cloths, sattinetts and calicoes ob de ‘stocracy’ passin by. If dare warn't a time, and it don't make music wid de lawyers, den I'se no judge ob cod-fish. Well, de odder night, out ob revenge to Joe Tucker, somebody went into his quiet habitation, and strayed, stole or ticed away dat are yaller dog, and make him up in sassengers. Dat am a fact, Massa Jusitice, dat am a fact — and Mr, Saul Gumbo am de man.

Justice. Julius, how you dat am so? Look out, Julius, you'll be tooked up for declamation ob character, and put in de calaboose.

Julius. How I know dat am so, Massa Justice? I'll


tell you. I went by Mr. Saul Gumbo's clam seller todder day; dere was a string oh sassengers hangin' by de dore; and I'd herd say dat if you whistled, dey would squirm — so I tort I'd try. I commenced de favorite air ob de Ole Folk at Home — for he knowed dat tune a mile off, and would come bouncin' like a rinosehoss, when he herd de first note. I began de tune, do sassengers began to squirm — de harder I tuned up, de more dey squirmed — till I tort dey would twist demselves off de nail. Dat satisfied dis child whar de poor dog was, and dat Mr. Saul Gumbo was de man; and for more convincing proof to de Judge and de teligent jury, I bought some ob de sassengers for spection.

Justice. Dis am a clear case, as clear as a brick. Mr. Saul Gumbo am de man; and as dese am quite frequent (specially 'mong de oyster salloons), de judge an de jury must use ebbery means to bring dem to justice, arter hearin' such able an convincin' testimony.

Judge Augustus Hannibal to de Jury.

Gemmen ob de Jury —

Can you spose dat Saul Gumbo, a man dat has allays sustained a high depredation in siety, a man you all on you suspect and steem for his good quantities — yes, gemmen ob de jury, a man wot neber drinks (no more dan a quart ob licker in a day), can you for one instant spose dat dis ere man would be guilty ob strayin', stealin' or enticin' away a dog? Horn-flints and wooden gun-flints forbid! Picter to yourselves, gemmen ob de jury, a feller fast asleep in his log-cabin, wid his inocent wife and orphan children by his side — all natur hushed in deep repose — nothing' to be heard but de mutterin' ob de silent thunder, and de croakin' ob de bull frogs, along de clear, blue eastern sky — den imagine, gemmen ob de jury, a fellow sneakin' up to de door like a hyena, softly enterin' de habitation ob de peaceful and happy family, and in de most mendacious and dastardly maner strayin', stealin' or enticin' away that are yallow


dog. I cannot, I will not dwell upon the monstrosity ob such a scene. My feelins, gemmen ob de jury, turn from such a picter ob moral turpentine, like a big woodchuck would from a moderate sized elephant. I can't for an instant harbor de idee dat any man in dese diggins, much loss Saul Gumbo, could be guilty ob committing an act ob such rantankerous and unextrampled discretion.

And now, gemmen ob de jury, arter a briefe view ob dis ere case, let me retreat ob you to make up your minds candidly and impartially, and give us such a verdict as we might reasonably suspect from such an enlightened and intolerant body of our feller-citizens. Rememberin' de language ob brudder Nimrod, who fell at de battle ob Bunker Hill, better dat ten inocent men escape, dan one guilty should suffer.

Adjourned sine die.